Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I stumbled upon Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson in high school at a time when I was questioning identity and capability. College was right around the corner, and the fear of the unknown kept me up at night. I experienced the same existential dread when I moved to NYC after college and again when I moved from one career into another.
We all experience moments like this, where we are about to cross a threshold and are tempted to let the winds of fate take responsibility for where we end up. Much of what I’ve learned through philosophical inquiry has centered around maintaining an internal locus of control, a sense of responsibility over one’s freedom, and a fighting spirit kept alive by systems of self-reliance.
There is one big misconception when it comes to self-reliance: It is equivalent to isolation or total self-sufficiency.
Isolation, the act of withdrawing from others, is not synonymous with independence. The lone wolf and the hermit are missing a big stimulant for increasing one’s autonomy: community. Self-reliance is a value system. It requires standing firm in one’s own identity and holding oneself accountable for one’s actions. One then uses that individual foundation to help shape and be shaped by one’s community. The feedback you get from your environment and community will ultimately be what leads you to further levels of autonomy.
Furthermore, total self-sufficiency is impractical. Even homesteaders who attempt to live off-grid require like-minded individuals around them to provide what they can’t on their own. Communities are extremely important for the self-reliant individual.
We are interdependent creatures. We thrive when we come together, but we also increase the capability of the group when the individual is increasingly capable. This is the big benefit of pursuing autonomy over oneself. The stronger you are as an individual, the more you can accomplish for your family and community.
Self-reliance is about developing the inner strength to act with integrity and the wisdom to collaborate effectively with others.
1. Own Small Decisions: Practice self-reliance in low-stakes scenarios, like planning your day without seeking approval or feedback. This builds trust in your judgment, enhances your sense of intuition, and, when paired with reflection, increases your critical thinking skills.
2. Learn a Foundational Skill: Pick a skill that increases your practical independence, like learning financial management, repairing something that is broken, or increasing your digital literacy. It’s a tangible way to rely on yourself and also help others.
